Happy eight hundred! I will be honest with you, when school got a little tough for me during testing time, and sports started busying me, I thought I would stop completely in the seven hundreds. I thought I was going to tell you guys ‘alright, that’s enough; I’ve ran out of ideas and I’m stressed as hell and I don’t know what to do from here’. But I couldn’t do that to you guys, especially when I know so many of you are so smart and continue to inspire me to write every day… new subjects that I would have never thought to write before. Thank you for that. I’m very happy I didn’t give up and was able to get through another hundred. I wish many more to come.
People need saving. From themselves, from their demons, from the darkness that looms around them, from those that scare them. Not everyone needs the ‘Prince Charming Saving the Damsel in Distress from the Bad Guys’ saving, and sometimes the saving has to be thought out more than that. Not exactly a fairytale ending where the prince and princess ride off into the sunset together, but an ending where after your saving, at the end of the day, it’s okay for you to sleep and dream of things other than what you’re afraid of. It feels nice to be safe and loved and protected and warm. No matter how hard your shell is to crack, deep down, you know it’s okay to be defenseless for once and have someone else be the one saving you.
This daydream special has triggers. Each boy and scenario holds different possible triggers, but if you have a strong feeling as to what the triggers may be and know that you are sensitive to specific things, please take caution or do not read this writing at all.
Louis: He saves you from your depression. He saves you from the darkness, the blackness, the blank stares you gave others because it all hurt so much and you didn’t feel anything other than sadness. “Let’s go do something today,” he starts saying every day, pulling the comforter away from your eyes as your body aches, “Come on; let’s get you out of bed. We’ll do whatever you’d like, but you look really pretty in the sunlight.” He does everything he can to make you happy, doing things he would have never done himself. He takes you out on walks and buys you ice cream — buys you pretty jewelry to put on your wrists. He takes you out of your darkened room and out from underneath your covers, even if he has to carry you and put you in the shower himself. He hushes you every time you apologize, telling him how much of a burden it must be to be with you. “It’s not a burden, don’t apologize,” he whispers, kissing the tip of your nose and corner of your mouth before meeting his lips with yours, “People do things for the ones they love. That’s just how people were taught to be when in love.” He’ll save you from your bed and your Netflix subscription; he’ll save you from the monsters hiding in your head; he’ll save you from the headaches and aches of your body; he’ll save you from everything, whenever you need saving, and he’ll drop everything he’s doing just to make time for you. Even when you don’t feel like doing things other than sleeping and crying all day, he’s there, gently putting his arms around you and waiting until you’re cried out so he can take you out on adventures to see the world. He’d pay millions of dollars to make you happy, or use up all of his time and love to do the same. That’s what love is to him. Being there for someone, through thick and thin, because you love them. There’s nothing better and it’s surely not a burden. For when he’s with you, however you may be feeling, he gets the good out of seeing you at your best, knowing that you’re one step closer to being happy and smiling that pretty smile of yours, all the time.
Niall: He saves you from the abuse. After you coming to him too many times with black eyes and bruised thighs, he realizes he’s been hiding your secret for too long. It’s not only the physical abuse, but it’s also the words that people say to you. Calling you names, laughing in your face, making you seem like you’re nothing, like you’re worthless. “You need to stop letting them do this to you,” he murmurs, brushing the hair out of your eyes as he holds you close to him, one arm hooked around your back, “You need to stand up for yourself. Baby, you’re worth too much to be treated like that.” He spends hours cleaning your wounds, kissing your cuts, listening to the newest story of what they have done to you. “I’m scared, Niall,” you murmur, “I’m scared of them.” And his heart breaks at this because he swore to protect you from anything that was harmful to you. He pulls you down from the kitchen counter and gingerly holds you, smoothing his hand against the back of your head and over and over again. “Don’t be scared of them,” he whispers, “Don’t be scared. I’m going to fix this. You’re going to be safe.” Even if he has to go against your word and tell someone about the things being done to you, he’ll do it; because he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe at night, tucked away under the covers and dreaming peacefully of things that make you happy — not things that hurt you and harm you and make you scared. He lets you sleep over at his flat for nights, humming you to sleep and chasing away your nightmares. He speaks to the people that he knows can help, and when the report goes in, he crawls next to you under the sheets and wraps his arms around you. “Hey,” he whispers, “You’re going to be able to go home.” He kisses your cheek and your jawline, trailing his lips to your ear where he sighs softly, “You’re going to be safe now. I told you I’d keep you safe.” He brushes his knuckles gently over the remainders of your bruises and knows that he’ll never touch you like that. He’ll never harm you, or lay a hand on you to bruise you. That’s not what somebody does if they love you.
Liam: He saves you from ending it all. He could see the hurt and pain in your eyes, the questioning of yourself, if you should even be alive. He spoke to you every morning, every night, telling you that he was going to make it alright. When the going got tougher and you started leaning towards sharp objects and white pills to numb it all, you didn’t tell him or show him any signs. He had to find out on his own time when the bathroom door was locked and you sat all alone, counting how many droplets of blood splattered onto the white tile. He bangs on the door and he screams and he yells and he cries — telling you to get up, to try, to at least fight past the voice inside of your head that was whispering to you how you were better off, how it would be so easy to end it all. You come out moments later, eyes glossy and hands fumbling, whimpering how it hurts, how you want to stop it all. How you keep saying his name over and over again and asking for help. “Help me, I need help.” He catches you when you fall into his opened arms, using one of his hands to tangle in your hair as the other covers his own mouth from crying out. He’s bleary eyed and his stomach hurts; hearing you cry and seeing you with blood on your arm was enough. That was all he needed to grab you by the upper-arms and pull you towards him, mouth set in a determined line even though his eyes were still wide and wet with tears. “Listen to me,” he whispers, “Look at me.” He follows your wandering eyes, leveling his head to yours, grasping your chin so you understand that he is being serious. “We’re going to get you help, today. I don’t care how much it costs or what strings I have to pull to get you help. I’m doing it, okay? I’m doing it.” He cups your face in his hand, his chest hurting, his heart beating loudly beneath his skin. “I’ll do whatever it takes to save you, okay? I’m not going to let you hurt. I’m going to help you live, because you deserve it, and you — ” He breaks off, lips bitten and bruised, eyes a dull brown, as he chokes on his breath. ” — and you’re beautiful, so pretty, and if you’re damn strong enough to be with me, you’re strong enough to stay on earth and breathe.”
Zayn: He saves you from falling in love with the wrong person. You’re a good person and the person you like is obliviously not good enough for you. So, maybe he isn’t one to judge, but he sees what you deserve and knows you’re a beautiful person that is too good to be hurt. “You’re making the wrong choice,” he tells you softly, twirling a piece of hair around his finger before pushing away from you gently, “He’s just going to hurt you in the end.” In love with you himself, he’ll do anything to save you from possible threats. It’s not an overprotective best friend instinct; it’s reality. He can see that it’s not going to be a good love for you and it’s going to tear you up on the inside. It may not be his business at all and you may have the right to slap him for being so judgmental and oh-so-knowing, but it’s what he thinks. “You’re too pretty and you’re too smart,” he whispers, “Don’t let me find you hurt and battered and bruised, alright? Just don’t do that to me. Don’t do that to yourself. He’s not going to treat you like a princess, babe.” He sees you downing on yourself, thinking you deserve the least because you’re a ‘bad person’ and that you ‘deserve the worst’. “You deserve all that candy and roses and chocolates and teddy bear stuff. Cliche, I know, but it’s what you deserve.” He kisses your cheek softly and lets his grip loosen from your hips, but he shrugs his shoulders and continues, “You don’t deserve any less and don’t you dare for a minute think or tell me that you’re fine with being thrown around and badmouthed because of your past. God, you wouldn’t deserve that no matter how many mistakes you have made. I’m not going to let you throw your life away for a boy who will do nothing but hurt you.” He stares at you, eyes soft and so brown and so sweet. “You don’t have to find a guy that comes out of a fairytale. Just find a guy that treats you right and stays up with you on the phone and is there for you whenever you need him, whom treats you right and was taught well by his mum, okay?” That’s what you deserve. You deserve the best; glowing of the cheeks and smiles that hurt your face so bad. As long as you’re happy, he’s happy, too.
Harry: He saves you from yourself. You were going to cave in so soon, folding in on yourself with your arms wrapped around your legs as sobs fell hard, willing it all to go away. He watched you with tearful eyes, begging to do something — anything — while trying to help you. “I just need to be alone,” you gasp out, starting to push yourself up off the floor. At first, he thinks he might let you be alone for a while, but when you’re going through a time like this, he knows it’s not the best option. “Let me be with you for a while,” he says, clasping his hand around yours as he pulls you gently to him, “Just stay with me. I’m not letting you be alone with yourself at a time like this.” That’s how he saved you from yourself; when you tried to push him away and act like everything was going to be fine if you just sat in your dark room for a little, crying the pain away, he disagreed. He let you sleep in his company and he brushed out your hair and watched T.V. with you and held your hand. Even if you two didn’t talk, it was nice to know he was there. You could feel his body heat and the rough texture of his palm against yours. You could hear the steadiness of his breathing and the way his lips pulled away from your skin with a soft ‘smack’. It was nice having him there, you must admit, and he really did save you from your deepest depths of hell. “Thanks for being here,” you whisper softly, tucked away into the safety and warmth of his protection. He tangles his fingers into your hair and kisses the top of your head, letting you settle closer to him and enjoying the feeling himself. “I’ll always be here for you,” he responds, and that’s the end of the conversation. There is nothing else to say, because he just sealed his fate, and he knows his future with you is going to be nothing short of greatness. He’s going to save you from yourself when you need it. He’s not going to control your body or your thoughts, but when you say you need to be yourself and knows that it isn’t the right thing for you to do, he’s going to pull you close and kiss your tears and make sure your breathing is back to normal. He’s going to be there for you, forever and always, and he’s not going to budge, even when you try to push him away.
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